First, I said good-bye to Xanga. And then now I’m saying good-bye to Natural Momma. Evolution is good.
I started this blog a brand wee mom, full of idealism and none of the reality that soon hit me with full force. For some reason, I was trying to keep up with the sentiment of this blog, trying my hardest to be the natural momma I set out to be and failing miserably. While I haven’t quit that endeavor altogether, my focus has shifted to something else. Something better. Something simpler.
And that is to make a nourishing home. Focus away from me. Away from labels that divide.
So if you are still here, visiting once in a while, do stop by my new blog, A Nourishing Home. And thank you for sticking around.
I love how my little one lives in the moment. When she is hungry, nothing else matters but food. Oh but wait, that little speck on the side of the plate looks interesting. And hmm, I wonder what would happen if I poured my juice all over my oatmeal? And then what about pouring all of that onto the floor? Wheee!
So what’s a mom to do?
One perspective is to “train” your little one to refrain from getting messy using a combination of punishment or nagging or something else that works. Another perspective is to anticipate the mess, make it a teachable moment and just let your little curious scientist do her thing while taking deep breaths and repeating to yourself that this too shall pass and you will not have to clean up after her all her life. Which is what I default to. But I want to add a third option. One that I want to choose more of this year. And that is to experience the lovely mess with your wee one.
Learning Versus Teaching
See, I’m beginning to suspect that motherhood is as much learning from our children as teaching them. When I am in the “teaching” mode, I tend to overthink and stress out on making a something teachable. Or I am focused on getting her all cleaned up. Still very much on my autopilot adult mode. Of course, I do tell her not to spill her food on the floor and I ask her to help me clean it up. But when I also take on a learner stance, a childlike stance, I am able to see things from her eyes and be in the moment. She helps pull me back into the wonder of childhood and shows me how to savor the sights and sounds and tastes of the every day things. There, in the present, I learn to be. And there, I somehow am fully more of a Mother.
Motherhood, if you let it, can open your heart once more to the wonder and innocence that is childhood. Motherhood, if you let it, can open your eyes once more to all things brimming with Life and Beauty and Possibilities. Motherhood, if you let it, can open your hands to create and enjoy the simplest and smallest of tasks.
And it seems that once we go back to becoming childlike once again, we go forward to becoming better Mothers.
Have you found this true in your experience as well? How have your little ones taught you to b more childlike again?
I love welcoming the new year. A new four digit number to write. A new blank journal waiting to be filled with new stories, new lessons, new adventures.
I am a sucker for all things new. Because I almost always feel the need for a fresh start.
Like this blog. Oh man, I can’t even count the many times I’ve tried a “do-over” here.
I started out wanting to write about my experience with natural mothering. You know, my babywearing saga, breastfeeding moments, cosleeping highlights, cloth diapering love affair, and my healthy kitchen experiments. And as a new mom, part of me wanted to appear like it was all gloriously working. That I was pulling it all off just fine. Because I was committed to being the best poster-child attachment parenting mama out there. And for what reasons, I don’t even want to take a stab at.
But in reality, I was falling apart and getting really tired of all the stuff I was trying to do. I was trying oh so hard. So I quit cloth diapers. I quit making bread. I quit playgroups. I tried to quit co-sleeping but looks like we’re stuck there for now. And now I’m just back to figuring out the essence of Mothering and the essence that is Me, because it looks like that’s all I can manage at the moment.
And I like it. I think I’ve stumbled on to a new way of thinking that holds so much possibility for peace and joy in my life and in my family.
A new way of thinking that says, simplify and be yourself.
While I do have goals for this coming year, like knit one or two pieces of something for my little one, I see them now through my new way of thinking, and instead of feeling overwhelmed at all that I need to be and learn, I get excited. I will only do something if it helps simplify my life especially as a mother, and if it is something that truly resonates with who I am. So if trying to knit gets in the way of time spent with my family or it gets too stressful because I’m trying too hard, then it goes out the window. How freeing.
And same goes with this blog. It’s going to be about simplicity, and being real. If there’s anything that helps me live more simply, and be more authentic, then you’ll read about it here.
And that’s what I’m looking forward to this new year, new chapter, new blog.
What about you? What are you looking forward to for 2010?
An update on the sleep department: nothing new really. I still sleep with my daughter and she still wakes up when she senses I’ve snuck out. Sometimes when she is really tired, she might pass out for 2 hours before beckoning me to come back to bed through the Graco monitor. But most of the time, I only have like 30-45 minutes before she figures out that mama has made another daring escape towards blogging freedom.
But lately, she seems to have figured out a strategy to keep me right there with her during bedtime. She now likes to nurse on TOP of me, with arms and legs stretched out, covering my body as if to say, you’re all mine tonight mama. Well, smart little cookie.
So what’s a mama to do?
I just wait until she is in deep sleep again and make my way back to the keyboard, crossing my fingers that this time, I’ll ready for dreamland before she wakes up and pins me down all over again.
When people ask me what my favorite part of being a mother is, I don’t have to think twice how to answer. (Not that people have asked me, I just imagine people want to.) Hands down, breastfeeding, I’d say. Sure, the first few weeks were awkward, painful and just plain sore. But the past 13 months have been mostly all love, tenderness, a certain calm and peace, and affirmation of the nurturing nature of this thing we call mothering. Ok, I admit there are moments here and there when I was just silly bored and hoping she would just hurry up and nurse quicker already. But those moments were lesser than I would have imagine, and looking back to this first magical year, breastfeeding has definitely made it more…magical.
I don’t need to have fancy tricks up my sleeve. When my daughter has had a rough day, a shorter nap, or perhaps just feeling the pangs of growing pains, we both know where to go for refuge. She tugs on my shirt and I offer her my breast without hesitation. I am able to offer comfort anywhere, anytime and in any mood she or I am in. When I’ve had a hectic day and I know I haven’t given her all the attention she needed, we just carve out that extra special “mimi” time and it seems to make up for whatever we have lost. When she is nursing, I am drawn to just stare at her beauty, innocence, and the fullness of life that is my daughter.
And these are just a few of the relational and emotional benefits. If I was creative and knowledgeable enough to come up with 101 reasons to breastfeed my baby, and an older one, I would. But Leslie Burby at Promom has already done that. It’s just the perfect nourishment for our baby. Why else would you give them anything less? I was talking to my husband the other day, and I told him that if we were to have a second baby, and if I were to be unfortunate and die in labor, that I want him to find another willing mom to nurse my baby (of course she needs to be checked and all that stuff, but there are wet nurses, that is what they are called, still out there and it’s a shame that we seldom go this route should the mother be completely unable to nurse her own child. This would be another post for another day but I’m so glad there is some resurgence in the practice of wet nursing here in the US.)
I surmise that God has put this wonderful naturally occurring mothering tool in our hands because (1) he loves all the little children and wants to give them an excellent headstart physically, mentally and emotionally and (2) he loves all the big mothers in the world and wants to give the a glimpse of what it is like to be God, who is the best Mother, if you can try to picture Him that way. (No, I’m not saying God is female, but God is also not male. I’m saying that God is the best nurturer of us all: able to perfectly nourish us in ways we need.) And when we opt out of this Design, we miss out.
And so this is why I breastfeed my older baby, with her feet extending past my arms now when I’m cradling her to nurse. She sometimes nurses standing up, sometimes she is hunched over with knees bent a little, sometimes she likes to crawl over like a little dog and nurse on her knees. I will take advantage of this Gift until one of us decides it’s time to move on. And I kinda hope that it won’t be anytime soon.
Of course there are challenges to breastfeeding an older toddler. And most of it has to do with the availability factor. Yes, often times when I feel “tied down” I nostalgically think back to my glorious days of freedom. Meaning the ability to go to the bathroom at any given time. But as she gets older, she nurses less so the sacrifice really is only temporary (and most breastfeeding mothers know that, and for nursing older babies, it just means a little bit of a longer temporary). And there’s always the pump, though my baby never took to the bottle so no breaks for me. And then there’s the issue of weaning. Will she be harder to wean? And my answer to that is, not really, if the child has any say in it. Plus, have you seen an eight year old still nursing? Oh wait, I have.
Now my thoughts for this will be for another post, as today’s is entitled Breastfeeding Beyond One and for most people, it doesn’t quite mean Breastfeeding until Eight. But let me tell you a secret: I am not at all utterly opposed to the idea. Don’t tell my hubby.
Cooking really nutritious and yummy foods on a daily basis is a LOT harder than I thought. I just can’t think of something to cook on a whim, much more make it healthy. Maybe it’s because I’m just new to making healthy meals, but generally I think planning ahead just makes everything a lot easier. Even though I sometimes make last minute changes, spending hours (yes hours!) on planning our weekly menu is so much more worth it. I only make a trip to the grocery once and most often the stuff I buy ends up in our stomach instead of the garbage can. And it’s all nourishing to my family!!!! But, yes I take an hour or two or more sometimes because like I said, I am new to the Nourishing Traditions way of eating and so it takes a lot longer for me to think of what food to incorporate in dishes. Add that I am on a budget, it seems like it takes a bit of creativity as well to pull it off.
For breakfast, we’ve been having oatmeal and fruits or eggs. I have to find a different way to soak my oats because yogurt makes it too sour!!! Also, I found a local creamery who keeps their cows on pastures and their milk is yummy! I also started buying eggs from pastured chicken. It’s only a dollar more, but it’s so worth the “splurge.” I bought all of our vegetables from our local P-patch garden, just a few feet away from our house. Again, worth the splurge. Free rage chicken was also on sale at our Thrifway so I got those too. And I found natural seal salt, which was such five bucks more than your regular iodized salt but think of all the minerals you are getting! I don’t use a lot of it, so I think it will go a really long way. I have not bought anything packaged, I think. Oh, I did buy Muir Glen canned tomatoes – they are organic and were on sale 2 for $3 which is a good deal for when summer tomato harvest is over. What else? I also learned how to make whole wheat bread last week… and made whole wheat zucchini bread for today. Yum yum. I have to admit I didn’t soak my flour and, no they were not freshly ground, but hey baby steps right? For fruits, I stick to the cheaper ones, like bananas and apples. We’ve been eating blueberries from our backyard though, but we are all out. Naomi likes it so much that I keep buying them. They are so good for you and so yummy too!
Next week, I think I’m going to try making my own yogurt. We’ll see.
It’s really tiring though and I don’t know how I find the time. But then again, I used to waste time on silly facebook and people.com. So I think we do have time for the things we want to do. I try to a little here and there, during Naomi’s naps. I try to make a game out of it too, so she can join me in the kitchen sometimes. It’s not always successful, sometimes I feel like I am spending more time in the kitchen than with her. Balance is tough. But I think this is important, no, imperative, that I put more thought and care into what I feed my family. I want to pass a nourishing legacy to my daughter. I have more thoughts on this, because I think there are spiritual implications too. But I am tired and should be going to bed. I really don’t know how other moms can blog regularly, every day!!! I’m pooped!
I was looking for a healthy chocolate cake recipe for her first birthday. I scoured websites and blogs until I found this recipe, which uses black beans instead of flour and substitutes for sugar. I tried it and it was a smashing hit among friends who regularly come over for dinner and fellowship on Wednesday nights. And so I made the recipe again for Naomi’s big day and family and friends loved it as well.
I was hooked. I started to look up healthier versions of recipes, and then realized that I didn’t really understand why they were healthier. I should know exactly why, instead of trusting that they are healthy just because some cool blogger said so. And so I did what everyone else does when wanting to know more about something: I googled.
And a websites and lots of blogs later, I stumbled on the Weston Price website. I read and read until I was overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure where to start!!! Fortunately, I found a simple well-written book by Nina Planck, Real Foods, What to Eat and Why. I learned about real foods – foods that cultures around the world have eaten for many many many years, traditional foods that are still prepared the same way, with nutrients intact for human health. I learned the difference between simple real foods and industrialized fake foods. The way I would eat was drastically simplified, and I and my family were so much better off. I understand now that it ain’t about buying organic though there are some things now that I would always buy organic. I understand now that it’s not just about buying local though there are some things now that I would always buy local. I understand now that it’s not about being a vegetarian though I certainly eat way more veggies (and fruits) now that I ever have. It’s a simple diet of eating the finest stuff nature has provided for us that, interestingly our bodies were designed to thrive on: raw whole milk and simple dairy products, grass-fed cattle, free-range eggs, seasonal and organically grown vegetables and fruits, wild seafood, whole grains, legumes, seeds and nuts.
And so that is how it all started.
Eating real foods really resonate with my philosophy of simplifying life down to the way it was meant to be lived. Some people call it living naturally. I say it’s Living by Design. There are people who profit from enticing us to live on artificial food that is not only nutritionally bland but potentially harmful for our own health as well. Just as there are people who stand to benefit from telling mothers that the formula is just the same as breastmilk. Not a lot of people nowadays will proclaim loudly that not only is breastmilk superior but that formula milk is vastly inferior to the real thing. It’s FAKE. It’s ARTIFICIAL. We don’t want to say it out loud because we don’t want mothers to feel guilty about feeding their babies formula. But it’s not about feeling guilty, it’s about making informed and wise choices. I’ll take it a step further, because as a Christian I think it’s an issue of stewardship. Of the earth, of our bodies, and as a mother, of our growing families.
It’s tragic that our tastebuds have changed to crave artificial food and we think that real simple natural food is too…ordinary. But we have been misled and tricked into eating cereal that resembles nothing like the grains they come from, milk without the good fats our body needs, beef fed with grains instead of grass (and who knows what else!), enriched foods in sealed containers that have a very long shelf life (and we don’t wonder why they can sit there for long), and lots and lots of corn syrup in almost everything you can find in the shelves of the grocery store today. No wonder many children nowadays have ADD and instead of looking into their diets, we fill them up with more chemicals and drugs. Yikes. This is the future of America, folks.
So there you have. My soapbox on why I want to eat only real foods. Now I am not a 100% real foodie. Just the other day my hubby and I met our pastor at Red Robin for lack of better kid-friendly place to eat last minute. And so who knows what kind of beef they served? And surely their buns were not 100% whole grains. And I’m pretty sure their honey mustard was sweetened by white sugar and not real honey. It’s okay. I won’t go berserk over it. I don’t have control over that (although perhaps if we patronize only restaurants that serve real food, then more of them will serve it?). But I do have control over my kitchen. And I will gladly control it in the right direction.
I hope this post has spurred you to think about what you eat and why. It’s not an easy journey but one worth taking. Because your life, and that of your family depends on it.
I don’t get blogging. Or maybe blogging doesn’t get me.
Whatever.
I just can’t keep up. Whenever I have a great idea to blog about, there’s always another diaper to change or dinner to make or a spill to clean up. And by the time I finally can sit down and write, inspiration has left and my mushy mommy brain is crying out for some mindless time out (which these days have meant me watching past seasons of Jon and Kate whenever the DVD arrives from the library). Anyway.
Maybe I’m just not meant to be a blogger. I had dreams of getting thousands of hits, with lovely comments and faithful readers at my fingertips. I had plans of juicy topics to post, confessionals that would make you blush, and mundane accounts that make me the very normal boring person that I am, which in turn makes you the reader want more of because then it doesn’t make you very normal and boring.
Blah blah blah. Yes, I am can be very uninspired and uninspiring all at once.
I did make homemade bread today made of whole wheat and chicken pot pie from scratch, with all natural and local ingredients. Bam. Take that blogging failure. And I did spend every waking moment I had with my daughter next to me, who is so giddy with excitement as she experiments with her newfound ability to walk. Double Wham.
It’s all about what matters, Vina. It’s all about what truly matters.
So I decided to continue writing about the slow and somewhat “painful” changes in our eating habits as this would not be done overnight and without struggle. I mentioned in my last post that I used to shop with frugality as my only companion, but now newly armed with knowledge of nature’s way of providing nutrition for our species (as opposed to the constant “scientific breakthroughs” regarding our diet), I am oh so motivated to move our kitchen and hence our physical well being towards a more wholesome direction. And still somehow keep our budget reasonable.
My first step was decreasing the white flour in our diet. So I bought whole wheat flour to mix with white flour for breads, pastries, etc. I also added brown rice to our white rice, a move I never thought I would make as I grew up eating white rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Whole grain pasta is so freaking expensive so I’ll have to figure out how to incorporate that into our budget. I bought wheat germ as well and flax seeds to sprinkle on everything else. And lots of beans and legumes that I try to either put into a main dish or fix into the salad or side dish. So far so good.
Next step was to detox our fridge and pantry and getting rid of everything that has the three bad words: high fructose syrup. Bye bye Smuckers, bugogi sauce, teriyaki sauce and a couple of salad dressings, among others. I also chucked cake mixes that I stocked up on when they went on sale for a dollar. Never again. Oh, I did save the containers and perhaps remake them into some sort of toy for Naomi. And I used the cake mixes for an indoor sand box as well.
This week, I planned our weekly menu around chicken as I had a Free Range whole chicken sitting in my freezer. So far we had roasted chicken (with mashed potatoes and veggies), chicken enchiladas and then today I’m turning the leftovers into chicken pot pie. From. Scratch. I used fresh veggies (except peas), homemade broth and added whole wheat flour for the pastry. We have our weekly group coming for dinner so I hope it turns out okay. I’ve never made a pot pie from scratch. And then I also made some broth from the remaining carcass and bones. I hear that bone broth is awfully good for you. Oh, I also am going to make some blueberries and kiwi salad on the side. Tomorrow, I’m thinking of a Tuna Casserole that hopefully will stretch onto Friday so I don’t have to do any cooking then! Whew.
So there are my baby steps. It feels really great to know that I am nourishing my family with meals that are good and yummy, and without the poisons that many of us are oblivious to eating. (Yes, I know poison is a strong word, but they are.) This is part of my new “job” as a stay at home mom and I am done fighting it. The kitchen is my new cubicle and I will glory in that.
Yes, we are having a kitchen makeover. No, we’re not getting a new fridge or exchanging our tiles for granite. We’re getting a pantry and grocery list overhaul. Like major.
I’ve been reading all sorts of books on nutrition lately and I don’t know why it took me this long in my life to finally GET it. Our bodies are designed to digest foods that nourish it well, from sea life to plant life and yes, I believe even from animal life. Meat from grass-fed animals, whole grains and beans and legumes, seeds, vegetables and fruits. God created all these things that happen to supply us exactly the combination of fat, protein, carbohydrates and all the essential vitamins we need to be alive and well.
How then, did we as a civilization, end up eating artificially produced, chemically laden and genetically altered foods, and think we can come to no harm in doing so? Why are we so puzzled at the rise of ADD among children, cancers and obesity and diabetes among many of us who appear to be healthy and active?
I am now convinced that my “depression,” my biochemical imbalance, may just be a nutritional deficit of some sort. Too much sugar. Too much bad carbs. Too much fake foods. Darn. Why do they taste so “good?”
It really started with me wanting to give Naomi wholesome food as soon as she started eating solids. I was not about to waste all that golden breast milk I fed to her by giving her junk foods so early on. But I also didn’t know how to go about it.
It took maybe five different books for me to finally get it, me being the global-thinker that I am. Meaning that I don’t take information in sequence/linearly. I kinda see the big picture first and then it takes several different ways for me to finally put the details where they belong.
Today was the first time I went to the grocery store with so much clarity on what buy and what to avoid. I stayed on the periphery of the store to get my fruits, veggies, dairy, and meat. I only went to the baking aisle to get my whole-wheat flour and active yeast. Oh yah, I got canned wild salmon too. I stayed within our $40/week budget. I was so proud of myself.
In the past, every time I went to the grocery store, I was always thinking, cheap food, sales and whatever would lower the bill. I would get the meat that was on sale. I bought enriched pasta for a dollar. I always got bananas and apples and zucchinis because I had no imagination nor the experience how to use other vegetables and fruits. And I always left feeling somewhat confused because even though I succeeded in getting deals, I was never sure whether I was on the right track.
Never again will I be duped into thinking that wheat flour is the same as whole wheat flour. Nor will I be tricked into buying something labeled “all-natural” or “low-fat” without looking at the ingredients. Nor will I be enticed to buy meat on sale unless I know how the animal was fed or treated.
Thank you Real Foods by Nina Planck. Thank you Nourishing Traditions by Sally Falon. Thank you Dr. Sears for your NDD Book and The Family Nutrition Book. Thank you Super Baby Foods by Ruth Yaron.
I get it now.
Eating out, though, is a whole ‘nother challenge. Go Chipotle.
